Do you want to increase your self-confidence and finally break out of that comfort zone? Do you strive to tackle your fears and reveal the best version of yourself?
If the thought of a confident you still feels a bit surreal, now is the time to take action.
With the right dose of self-confidence, you can make decisions with ease, improve your social skills, and dare to take on challenges again.
Are you ready for a change? In this article, We share 18 valuable tips that will boost your self-confidence!
It is very understandable to sometimes feel weak and inferior and many more people than you would think have little or no self-confidence for the same reason.
A lack of self-confidence ensures that life is only half-lived and that it is more difficult to find satisfaction. This is because you are probably satisfied with less than what you deserve.
Why is self-confidence so important?
Self-confidence is like the gasoline that revs our engine so we can follow the direction of our heart.
Self-confidence exists in different strengths, with one end of the spectrum being that basic animal right that we can fight for our place here on earth.
At the other extreme is an almost otherworldly confidence that everything in the universe is connected and that we can be the best we can be in every moment without exerting coercion.
The latter is the ultimate sense of self-esteem. Most people are somewhere in between.
Some people’s self-esteem is so damaged that they don’t even seem to have the feeling to fight for their place. This is often the case with unwanted children, abuse, neglect, etc.
We should not confuse a healthy dose of self-confidence with selfishness, narcissistic personalities or arrogance.
Believing that you are always right and not being able to tolerate opinions or insights from others is anything but a sign of self-confidence.
Someone with self-esteem has no problem being vulnerable and admitting mistakes.
Everyone deserves to have self-confidence, and self-esteem can be the lifeline for many people whose hurt causes them to do irrational and heartless things. Just as injured animals are the most dangerous, so are people.
We should not confuse a healthy dose of self-confidence with selfishness, narcissistic personalities, or arrogance.
Believing that you are always right and not being able to tolerate opinions or insights from others is anything but a sign of self-confidence.
Someone with self-esteem has no problem being vulnerable and admitting mistakes.
Everyone deserves to have self-confidence, and self-esteem can be the lifeline for many people whose hurt causes them to do irrational and heartless things. Just as injured animals are the most dangerous, so are people.
With a healthy portion of self-esteem, we feel at home and have the courage to learn, even if it involves trial and error. We also feel strong enough to follow the call of our heart and we regain confidence in life.
People with high self-esteem also have healthier relationships, are happier with their jobs, and have more patience.
Exercises to increase self-confidence
Increasing your self-confidence is the first step when nothing in life seems to work out.
You better start to understand your situation, without taking on a victim role, which in turn would be an excuse for not moving forward.
It is important to understand why you are the way you are.
Perhaps your parents or caregivers were always critical, you were not allowed to do anything on your own as a child, or you experienced periods in which your integrity was deeply damaged.
Wrong love relationships or friendships can also be a hard blow to your self-confidence.
It is important to understand your current situation by looking lovingly at the wounds of the past. It is even more important to realize that from now on the reins are in your own hands, and that only you can make the choice to believe in yourself.
There are many specific exercises you can do at home to boost your self-confidence. Find what suits you best and let these exercises be the first step in consciously choosing happiness.
#01. Take a pen and paper and think about all the achievements you have made in your life
No matter how small and childish. You will see that against all odds you will end up with quite a list. For example: I was able to say ‘no’ at that important moment, which allowed me to maintain my integrity.
#02. Do something nice for yourself
If a true friend could give you something as a gift, what would it be? Treat yourself to a wellness day, book a massage session, and celebrate your existence with a delicious, extensive meal. Treat yourself with the same respect, understanding, and kindness as you would treat a good friend. Feeling guilty about this treatment defeats the purpose.
#03. Create positive affirmations about yourself
An affirmation is a form of positive self-suggestion. Some strong examples are: “I love myself unconditionally and I accept myself exactly as I am.” and “I am a unique and very special person and I deserve to be respected by others.” Choose fixed moments in your day when you repeat these mantras to yourself.
Read more: Follow These 30 Steps to Gain Your Self-Confidence
Gain more self-confidence at work
A lack of self-confidence at work can have several implications. First, it can keep you working in a position that is below your capabilities.
This way you are not stimulated and it is difficult for you to grow professionally.
A lack of self-confidence can also make it more difficult for you to bond with your colleagues.
A healthy dose of self-confidence makes you less susceptible to psychological problems and allows you to get the best out of yourself.
This also reduces the pressure to perform, because you find a balance between increasing your skills and your self-esteem so that success comes naturally.
Reflection on your current work situation is very important. In here be honest with yourself.
Ask yourself the following questions:
01. What am I good at and what are my assets and strengths?
02. What skills can I improve so that I can grow further?
03. Which less strong points should I leave aside, because they will never be my strong points?
04. What do I like to do?
It’s about answering these questions honestly and then accepting them.
Perhaps you are not in the right place at your current job, or perhaps it requires an extra effort on your part to move forward.
Tips to Increase Your Self-Confidence Permanently
#01. Be prepared
American tennis player Arthur Ashe put it this way:
An important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.
Arthur Ashe
When you know that you have done everything you can to prepare enough, you will probably feel more confident.
It is therefore important to take the right measures before taking anything important. If you end up in a stressful situation without any preparatory work, it can be a huge blow to your self-confidence if you fail. Therefore, make sure you are prepared.
What exactly needs to be done to prepare is something only you can figure out. Maybe it’s about studying, training, working hard or just making friendly suggestions to yourself as often as possible. Perhaps the right preparation for you is to seek professional help to work on your self-esteem.
#02. Stay away from negativity
It’s okay to be realistic about our lives and our environment. We can certainly have a bad day and we can’t always talk about unicorns, rainbows, and world peace. Accepting that something is not as we would like it to be is one thing, but falling into negativity is another.
Many people get stuck in that negative thinking pattern and thus contribute to negative situations. They subconsciously want all their negative comments and predictions to be true and do everything they can to involve those around them.
Be very aware of your sensation in a certain situation, with a certain group of people, or with a certain person. Do you feel exhausted, drained, without self-esteem, irritated, or frustrated after contact?
If these less pleasant feelings prevail, these people are probably consciously or unconsciously bringing negativity into your life.
If you don’t feel strong enough yet, it is better to keep these contacts to a minimum. As your self-esteem and self-confidence grow, you will see that you become more resilient and, conversely, even start to have a positive influence on those around you.
#03. Take action
Giving up is the biggest trap for people with no self-esteem. They think they will fail in advance, so they prefer to fall into passivity. This apathy usually causes them to put all their talents into dormancy, making it seem like they can’t do anything.
For example, after years of watching TV, living an unhealthy lifestyle, and thinking negatively, some people suddenly find themselves in a situation in which they despise themselves. It is never too late to take steps and finally find the strength within yourself.
Every person is a unique miracle and has infinite possibilities to grow and adapt. Everyone has their talents. Break through that lethargy and try, search, and take steps forward!
Maybe you can start by taking better care of your body and, for example, eating healthier and exercising more. It is not without reason that the two-thousand-year-old saying: “a healthy mind in a healthy body” has stood the test of time.
#04. Do something often enough
It’s discouraging to see how far you are from the ultimate goal when you start something.
A person would have a lack of self-esteem for less. Be assured, however, that even the greatest geniuses had to start at the bottom and gradually improve with perseverance and lots of repetition and practice.
Are you one of those who try new things too often only to quickly put them aside? If you want to be able to do something, then definitely try to persevere. Practice truly makes perfect.
If you start playing the guitar, don’t be discouraged by difficult progress, but practice that difficult piece of music until you master it. Just make sure you don’t set the bar too high.
#05. Discover your talent
How can you feel dignified when your days are filled with activities that don’t stimulate you mentally? Developing talents ensures that we find a dignified place in society. It nourishes our self-worth.
Everyone is good at something. What is your talent? Do you enjoy working with your hands, with people, with your body? Or do you prefer using your mind?
If you’re wondering where your talents lie, look at the activities that make your heart sing. Is there something you can be fascinated by, completely losing track of time? What would you do if all options were open again, without having to worry about money or family?
That talent doesn’t have to be spectacular, but it should be something that you feel a special attraction to and that makes your life interesting.
#06. Don’t compare yourself to others
Do you recognize yourself in this pitfall? How can you ever be good at anything if you constantly focus on the fact that others are much better? We have to be realistic here again.
Of course, there are always people who are better at something than us. And then? Self-esteem is about accepting our shortcomings but never losing faith that we can improve ourselves.
It’s a normal human impulse to look for comparative information around us, but if we lose faith in ourselves because others outperform us, then we’re not doing it right.
It can be refreshing to inspect the green grass of the neighbors. You can gain inspiration, find an incentive to perform better yourself, and find an example.
Just remember that we are all unique and authentic and that you prefer to focus on your self-development.
#07. Act like the best and pretend!
Do you perhaps feel locked in a golden cage? You probably prefer security over personal growth. At some moments in our lives, we need that security, but sometimes it stands in the way of our self-development.
A lack of challenges destroys our self-confidence, because how do you know whether you are on your toes and whether you are who you think you are if you cannot test it now and then?
Do you want to feel happier and more confident in your life? Fake it till you make it!
Scientifically Proven: Act like you’re confident and act like it. Recent research shows that this has such an effect that it can lead to changes in actors in the brain. Maybe that’s why so many actors get lost in assumed, depressive roles.
We all know the terrible stories of Hollywood actors who experience lasting consequences when they lose themselves in a certain role. Actors can often develop addictive and destructive habits from characters they have played.
Yet there is also an optimistic message to this story. There is also a connection with self-confidence. So the researchers think that the challenge of improving ourselves – or at least developing more self-confidence and a better self-image – may be easier than we thought.
By playing or performing a character we want to become, or simply by spending time with people who embody the kinds of qualities we want to see in ourselves, we can change our self-image in a desired way.
In this way, we gain new confidence in ourselves and we move further and further on our path. You can challenge yourself in the workplace, in your family situation, or in relationships.
Venture outside your comfort zone step by step and you will see that the world opens up for you.
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
– Neale Donald Walsch
#08. Work on your body language
A languid posture with slumped shoulders and a contorted face reflects your inner state. You’re probably feeling frustrated or tired, and that’s okay.
However, did you know that a certain posture also affects your mood? According to cognitive scientists, it does work in both directions. So think twice before you slump your shoulders and keep your eyes on the ground.
With an upright, relaxed posture and an inclination to smile, your brain gets the information that everything is fine, and you will start to feel better.
A posture that radiates self-confidence and satisfaction will also have much more positive effects in the workplace and your social life. Just try it!
#09. Focus on one thing at a time
If you are busy with a hundred things at the same time again, you don’t have to search long for the reason why you are not succeeding at anything.
A lack of self-confidence can make you reluctant to put all your weight into one bowl, and therefore end up with twenty different bowls that look poor. Still, it’s wise to focus your time and energy on one thing at a time. Only in this way can you necessarily commit yourself to achieving something.
So pick something important to you and focus on it until you achieve what you want in the first place. Those other less important things can certainly wait.
Growing in one aspect of your life may change your entire perception and create new needs and goals. So sort your plans and aspirations in order of importance and start at the top of the list.
This way, the majority of your energy and effort flows to where it is needed most.
#10. Face your fears
Our fears make us freeze and crawl back into our shells. It’s completely understandable because we undoubtedly had good reason to develop those fears in the first place.
The reason why you don’t dare to take risks professionally or financially may stem from a deep-seated fear of not being able to meet your basic needs.
However, this sensitivity now means that you again persistently opt for security instead of growth.
Reflecting on your situation is important to be able to put it into perspective. To tackle your fears, keep the following questions in mind:
01. Why is it that I am afraid of this particular situation? Where does the fear come from?
02. In what way is my being, my well-being and that of my family threatened? Where lies the danger? What am I afraid of?
03. Is the risk really as great as I think?
04. Could it be that everything will turn out fine if I try anyway?
#11. Stand up for yourself
People with low self-confidence seem to be adept at understanding the shortcomings of others.
If your boss makes a mean comment again and you prefer to keep quiet, thinking, “He must be having a bad day and is too short-sighted to see that he is hurting me by this.”, then you usually get the short end of the stick.
This is how you maintain the belittling situation.
Making your voice heard by letting us know what you think of those comments in a non-aggressive way can mean a real breakthrough for your interaction and therefore certainly for your self-confidence.
Being assertive is the message here.
Communicating correctly means that you let the other person know what your position is without attacking or breaking down. If something is very sensitive, it is always wise to start with: “I feel that….”
This way you don’t make any accusations and the other party also maintains its dignity, but you have said it like it is.
#12. Enrich your mind with knowledge
Something you don’t understand also inspires a certain fear. Not knowing the ins and outs means not knowing the pitfalls and shortcuts, and that makes it all seem scarier and more difficult.
Gaining knowledge will always give you a greater perspective on the situation. You enrich your mind with knowledge and, on the other hand, learn to put the frightening part of the situation into perspective.
Knowledge is power, so it is an important key in all facets of life.
For example, perhaps a lack of self-confidence arises while you are planning a big trip because you are afraid that with your petty-bourgeois mentality, you will not be able to find your place in those distant, foreign lands.
In that case, it can be very liberating to gain knowledge about everything that has to do with traveling, those specific countries, your own country, experiences of other travelers…
With that knowledge in your pocket, you will be a lot stronger to take on that great adventure.
#13. Work on the little things
This lack of self-esteem can be so deep that it is impossible to take serious measures immediately. Making small changes in your life can be extremely healing.
The fact that you feel that you are worth more than what you imagined in the past is already a huge step in the right direction.
Seemingly unimportant aspects such as how long you eat breakfast and what clothes you wear symbolize much more than you think. Taking good care of yourself is crucial for a healthy self-image.
Believe that you are worth something and show that to yourself through those little things. For example, take enough time to have a healthy breakfast and wear clothes that make you feel good, elegant, and comfortable.
Politely decline the neighbor’s request to watch her small children if you need time for yourself. All those little things are a good start.
#14. Learn to deal with resistance
Everyone comes into contact with resistance every day. In life, there are always conflicting interests and that is where resistance arises. The question is how we can healthily deal with this.
Resistance is not a pleasant experience. However, don’t let it discourage you. Dealing with resistance requires that you work on some qualities, such as:
01. Stress resistance
02. The ability to deal with the anger of others
03. Stand up for yourself the right way, etc
Communication skills are very important to adopt the right attitude.
For example, learn to
- Convey your message in the right way
- to deal with the emotions that arise during that resistance
- also recognize the importance of the other
- to look after your interests
#15. Go to the gym
Scientific studies have repeatedly shown that exercise has a positive effect on self-confidence.
In the short term, exercise improves your mood and gives you a more positive outlook. In the long term, sports and exercise can make us healthy and feel good about our physical selves: our physical capabilities and our strength.
In general, regular exercise creates a feeling of achievement, which gives a huge boost to our self-esteem. Find a sport that suits you. Whether you choose weightlifting or acro-yoga, it will undoubtedly provide the necessary dynamism that will skyrocket your self-confidence.
Nowadays there is a very wide range of sports available, so there is bound to be one in your area where you can easily go twice a week or more to get a good sweat.
#16. Read more books
As mentioned, knowledge equals power. The right books can fill you with inspiration and can solve your ignorance about certain subjects like snow in the sun.
By gaining that knowledge you expand your horizons, which increases your self-confidence. It may be that in your current environment, you do not come into contact with what interests you deep down.
Books can be the solution! Nowadays you can also find them in digital form, which makes it even easier to find specific books that can help you on your path.
It’s not even just about an informative book. Strong novels and literary works weave intrinsic storylines that portray the characters so accurately that it seems like you know them in real life.
In this way, you get to know very human traits from a different point of view so that you learn to put your shortcomings and imperfections into perspective and even learn to see the beauty of them.
Reading a lot also improves your ability to express yourself in your language, which in turn increases your self-confidence.
#17. Speak slowly and clearly
Rushed and unclear speech is a sign of insecurity. People talk too fast when they feel insecure and unsure of what exactly they want to say. It also makes people understand you less well, which may cause misunderstandings or lower your respect.
Making it clear what you want and good communication is necessary for a sense of self-esteem. Therefore, speak slowly and clearly with a well-considered choice of words.
It can also help you calm down mentally in situations where you are stressed or anxious.
Speaking more slowly not only ensures that the audience can better understand what you want to say, but also that you appear more confident and seem to have everything under control.
