When faced with a broken friendship, it is an opportunity to reflect on the kind of connections we want and how we can nurture them. These tips can help you in this process.
People change, and with them, their relationships change too. Often, we think about the breakup of a romantic relationship, but we forget that friendships can also come to an end. That’s why in this article, we’ll explore some tips to overcome a broken friendship.
There are people who can accompany us at certain moments in our lives, but then something starts causing friction. Naturally, a lot of emotions come into play because ending any relationship is painful.
What does a broken friendship mean?
A friendship is based on reciprocity and trust, on mutual support and interest.
It is a transcendent bond in the lives of people because, when it is good, friends are the ones who support us, encourage us, and even enable us to unfold our potential.
Friendship brings well-being and contributes to our quality of life and health. So, although many believe that the worst breakup is with a partner, they may be mistaken.
Ending a friendship is just as significant because it’s not about the type of bond but how meaningful it is to us.
Why do friendships end?
Sometimes, friendships end because the previously mentioned characteristics are not prevalent. On one side of the relationship, a person may feel like they are giving their all while receiving only egocentrism.
It also happens that the friendship becomes toxic, and your friend becomes possessive, creates scenes, prevents you from having other friendships, or starts feeling like you have to hide a part of your life around them. Manipulation, guilt, and envy make the relationship unhealthy.
It may also happen that the relationship should have been severed earlier but was still sustained. In this case, the bond was forced despite the discomfort.
Often, it’s not that a friendship was broken, but it may just be a symptom of natural distancing. The frequency of seeing each other may decrease, and you may no longer agree on tastes or choices. Thus, the bond fades. This doesn’t imply that there is a problem but that you might be in different life stages.
Tips to get over a broken friendship
Here are some recommendations to work on your emotions and overcome a broken friendship. Try to put them into practice.
01. If possible, talk to your friend
If there’s a problem, it’s a good idea to talk about it and explain how you feel. This gives both parties the opportunity to express themselves, making it easier to understand what’s happening with the relationship.
The brain tends to seek consistency because it doesn’t tolerate contradiction. So, if something that was one-way changes, it needs to give it meaning. And until it finds that, it doesn’t stop.
When we don’t have answers, it’s difficult to move forward. That’s why it’s much better to talk as two people who have cared a lot about each other.
02. Respect the other person
Sometimes it’s not always possible to end a friendship with a conversation. In that sense, it’s crucial to respect the other person’s decision not to talk.
Each person has their own processes, and we are not always ready to address certain issues. Perhaps, over time, some issues can be clarified. However, talking to someone who doesn’t want to is futile. Open listening and assertiveness will be lacking in this case.
03. Avoid harboring resentment
We all make mistakes and sometimes hurt each other. We also place a lot of expectations on others. Regardless of what has happened, try to hold onto your best-shared memories.
04. Allow yourself to grieve
Leaving a friendship with someone means losing a loved one in your life. Why not feel sad? Take the time to grieve and do not minimize the loss.
You can expect to go through different stages (denial, anger, and guilt). There will also be different emotions (irritation, sadness, frustration). But only by being honest about how you feel, you will be better off in the future.
05. Work with your thoughts
Many times, we get entangled in the trap of our thoughts, filtering information through certain lenses. So, if your lens is one of drama and exaggeration, losing a friend can seem like the end of the world.
On the other hand, if you’re one of those people who hold others responsible for what happens to you, you will create resentment and be unable to learn from the relationship, blaming others for your discomfort. Try to recognize where your thoughts are coming from and don’t believe everything you tell yourself.
06. Accept that people and relationships can be changed at any time
We are not always the same, and where there is kinship, there may no longer be a bond. It’s important to stop idealizing and understand that experiences make us as people, so sometimes there are just mismatches.
A broken friendship is an opportunity to rethink bonds
Every relationship that comes to an end is an opportunity to learn about the bonds and friendships you want in your life and how to nurture them. Every crisis brings a new beginning that allows us to take stock of the positive and the negative.
Likewise, overcoming a broken friendship is a moment to rethink (where did I go wrong and where can I improve?), to understand who we are, and to understand where we stand in our bonds. Above all, it is the opportunity to define who we want to be.
