Do you often feel ashamed of yourself? And also you feel insecure? All those feelings probably stem from a negative self-image. Do you want to improve that negative self-image? Benefit from the tips in this article!
What is a negative self-image?
When you have low self-esteem, you feel like you are not good enough. And that what you do is not good enough. Deep down you feel like you don’t matter.
You constantly feel like people are watching what you do and forming a negative opinion about it. When something goes wrong, it feels like your fault. At least, that’s how it feels.
Moreover, you often feel like too much. You have the idea that others aren’t waiting for your presence. That’s why you keep it in the background. You rarely express your opinion. This causes you to become estranged from yourself.
The causes of a negative self-image
A negative self-image doesn’t just happen. Some people are naturally more insecure. But it takes more to turn that insecurity into persistent negative thoughts about yourself.
One of the main causes of a negative self-image is an imbalance in giving and receiving between parents and children. There is always an interaction of giving and receiving between these parties; visible or invisible. Trust can either grow or be hindered in the parent-child relationship.
When a child’s giving (care) is not seen by their parents, they will constantly want to give more. They are seeking recognition. If that recognition is lacking, a positive self-image does not have a chance to develop.
Another cause of a low self-image is the constant pressure from social media. You constantly feel like you have to lead a perfect life because others also have perfect lives. At least, it seems that way when you look at their timeline. This way, you lose yourself and what you stand for.
Past traumas are also possible foundations for a negative self-image. When you go through something terrible, such as abuse, you quickly feel like you are worthless.
10 tips to improve your negative self-image
The 10 tips below provide you with tools to replace your negative self-image with a more positive version.
#01. Being aware of the thoughts you have about yourself
If you want to address your negative self-image, you must first become aware of the judgments you have about yourself. Finding out is not the most pleasant task, as you will have to dig deep. Reflecting on yourself requires courage!
Because most likely, those negative thoughts about yourself are already automated in you. This means that they no longer form part of a conscious thinking process. The thoughts are ingrained, and therefore they come and go automatically.
So, it takes quite a bit of exploration to find out which unrealistic thoughts have taken root in your brain. Have a conversation about it or keep a diary.
Ultimately, these exhausting processes bring you a lot of clarity.
#02. Challenge Your Negative Thoughts
The negative thoughts about yourself probably feel you like are the only real truth. If they are so persistent, they must be close to reality, right? That’s still a question.
Negative thoughts, like all your other thoughts, have formed in your head. You can say that your brain has formed an opinion based on your experiences. Those opinions are your (negative) thoughts.
Therefore, be critical of your unrealistic thoughts. Examine them all and consider how much they factually make sense.
Only if you really dare to be critical, you will probably find that many unrealistic thoughts are quite exaggerated.
#03. Speak Helpful Thoughts
Once you know which negative thoughts about yourself are not entirely accurate, look for supportive thoughts. These are positive variants that replace the negative ones.
Supportive thoughts always have three important aspects:
- They must be positive.
- They must be achievable.
- They are thoughts about things you have control over.
For example, suppose you and two others are in the running for a promotion at work. You get nervous before the decisive conversation with your boss.
A supportive thought in this situation could be: I am not invited to this conversation for no reason. I know my qualities, and I trust in them.
With such a thought, you approach that conversation very differently.
#04. Recall Positive Memories of Past Achievements
You’ve probably experienced things that went well. They don’t have to be huge successes. Just sticking to your schedule could be enough.
The key is to train your brain in positive thinking. By forcing your brain to create positive thoughts, you also put yourself in a more positive flow.
Moreover, these successful memories instill confidence in the similar task you’re facing now. There’s a good chance that your changed mindset will have a positive impact on it.
#05. Speak Positively to Yourself
If you find yourself stuck in negative thoughts, a conversation with yourself can be helpful.
Here’s what you do:
- Stand in front of the mirror every morning.
- Look yourself in the eyes.
- Smile at yourself.
- Mention two things you currently like about yourself.
End with a powerful statement about yourself, such as, “You are good just the way you are!”
Interestingly, these conversations work, even if you don’t believe them initially. In a way, you’re fooling your brain. With a beautiful result: eventually, you’ll believe in yourself.
#06. Don’t compare yourself to others
I mentioned earlier that social media can be deadly for your self-esteem. In essence, you constantly compare your own life to that of your friends and acquaintances.
It’s nice to see the enjoyable things they experience. Unfortunately, that has a downside. Due to all those fantastic vacation pictures and work successes, your life may seem dull and meaningless.
The path to a negative self-image is then not far away. Generally, it’s better to focus on your own life and its beautiful aspects. This prevents you from constantly comparing yourself to those around you.
There will always be someone better, stronger, more beautiful, handsome, or richer than you. And that’s okay, as long as you are content with who you are.
#07. Smile more often
Laughter is healthy. Literally. Research has shown that laughter releases endorphins and dopamine in your body.
These two substances make you feel happy and relaxed. So, they are the perfect combatants against a negative self-image.
In this case as well, you can trick your brain if you don’t believe in your own positivity. So, it’s a matter of doing it, just smile!
#08. Let go of perfectionism
Are you someone who prefers everything to be taken care of down to the last detail? Who settles for nothing less than perfection? The chances are high that this is related to your negative self-image.
Perhaps you think that only when you have the perfect version of yourself can you truly be happy. There is one big drawback: that version is unattainable. No matter how hard you strive for it, leading a perfect life is impossible.
That would mean you can never be satisfied with yourself. Fortunately, this statement is not true. Satisfaction only comes when you dare to let go of your ideal image. Then you see what you do have and do. And more importantly: what a beautiful person you already are.
#09. Accept yourself
To bid farewell to the idea of your perfect self, one thing is vital: accept yourself as you are.
This is not an easy task. Especially not when it has been a negative self-image for years. In my blog about becoming mentally stronger, there are tips that can help you in this process.
The mirror conversations from tip 5 also bring you one step closer to self-acceptance.
Are you still struggling with this issue? Then there is probably more going on. Seek help from a coach or therapist. They will ask you the right questions, making it easier to get to the core of the underlying problem.
#10. Put your negative thoughts into perspective
In the first tip, I already mentioned that your thoughts are more based on opinions than facts. Therefore, subject all your unrealistic thoughts to a reality check regularly.
How accurate are they really? Does your behavior deserve the gloominess of the thoughts you have about it?
Always keep in mind that thoughts are developed by your brain. They are not necessarily the truth. When you once again have a negative statement about yourself, put it into perspective.
