Relationships can be wonderful, but they can also bring a lot of hassle.
That’s why I have 17 tips for you to enhance your relationship. This way, you ensure more passion, connection, and trust.
In this article, you will learn:
- How to make any relationship exciting and enjoyable again – even if you’ve known each other for years and the spark seems to be fading.
- 17 Simple tips that are not only scientifically proven but also tested in practice by successful couples.
- Why you might be spending too much or too little time with your partner simultaneously – and what the ideal balance is.
- How to cultivate a strong relationship without encountering common issues (and the exact steps to quickly resolve any problems that may arise).
- The shared trait among every successful relationship (it’s a bit of a quirky trick, but incredibly easy to execute, and your partner will love it).
- And much more…
Last week, a woman shared the following:
“I always manage to keep the relationship enjoyable for the first six months, it starts to fade a bit in the second half-year, but after a year and a half, I lose all interest. Maybe I’m doing something wrong, what are the things I can do to prevent this from happening in the future?”
In short, she wonders how she can ensure that a relationship remains enjoyable without it slowly fading like a candle.
In this article, you’ll discover 17 simple tips to keep your relationship fun and exciting. Let’s start with the first one.
01. Vary and Experiment
When I mention varying and experimenting, I’m not just referring to the bedroom (although that’s important too), but I mean it in relation to all the things you do together.
In a relationship, there are always two people who become somewhat of a constant factor, and that can become dull over time…
… or at least, it does if you keep doing the same things together.
This is why many people believe they’re in a boring relationship, but in reality, it’s not (only) their relationship that’s dull.
Because…
When you say your relationship is boring, you’re essentially saying that your life is boring.
The two are interconnected; if you’re with the same person in a boring life, the relationship becomes boring as well. Thus, to reignite excitement in a relationship, you sometimes need to work on your life.
Ensure variation and experimentation by, for example:
- Dining at a different restaurant.
- Exploring a new vacation spot (for a change).
- Experimenting with a new dish you’ll cook together.
In essence, strive to consistently put yourselves in new situations as a couple.
…Because as soon as you begin developing routines together (always going to the same place, doing the same things), it’s inevitable that the relationship becomes dull.
So sometimes, the answer to the question “How do I make my relationship exciting again?” is quite simple. You don’t necessarily need to work on the relationship itself, but on the activities you engage in.
Furthermore, you’ll become much closer when you continually experience new things together.
You’ll find that this approach makes it much easier to keep the relationship enjoyable.
02. Embrace Honest Communication Within Limits
This tip isn’t about making your relationship fun again, but rather about ensuring that your relationship stays enjoyable. Perhaps you’ve shared with him something that happened, and afterward, you thought:
“Oops, maybe I should have kept that to myself.”
Like that one time when you told him about a guy who approached you that day and tried to flirt with you. Oops…
But well, it’s better to be (too) honest than to give the impression that you’re withholding things.
Of course, this is all about trust.
And as you may already know: Trust is indispensable in a healthy relationship.
It’s essential that you trust each other completely. Is he going on a business trip? Trust him.
In return, you can expect the same. How do you achieve that?
Simple, ensure that you’re honest with each other. Now, you really don’t have to (honestly) share the latest gossip about your boss with him, but concerning your relationship, it’s wise not to withhold things.
03. Maintain Realistic Expectations
Do you expect him to go to the gym seven times a week and become a millionaire by the time he’s fifty?
Or do you expect him to be the perfect father for your children who never makes any mistakes? Okay. It would be nice if he could achieve all those things. But how likely is that?
Um… unless he’s some kind of superhero, the chances are pretty slim. These kinds of expectations slowly destroy your relationship.
Yet, time and time again, I see women holding these kinds of absurd expectations for their partners.
They want a man who’s masculine, loving, charming, and caring. Someone who’s not only tough but also understanding of their feelings. A beast in bed, a shoulder to cry on, empathetic, and it’s a bonus if he enjoys going shopping too.
Well, here’s some news.
That man doesn’t exist. And nothing extinguishes the spark in a relationship as much as when a man feels he can never be good enough.
Often without realizing it, these expectations wedge themselves between them and their partners. More and more expectations arise, and the relationship stops being exciting and enjoyable, gradually becoming a burden.
And how on earth can you be happy if you can’t live up to your partner’s bizarre expectations? Exactly, you can’t. So, take a moment to consider the expectations you have of him and whether they’re realistic. If not? Change them, sooner rather than later.
04. Work on Yourself (First)
If you’ve ever flown before, you probably noticed that before takeoff, instructions are provided for emergency situations. (yeah, I mean the instructions no one pays attention to)
One of the instructions is that you need to put on your own oxygen mask first before helping the person next to you. The reason for this is simple: you can’t assist someone if you’re in trouble yourself.
So, it’s important that you change your situation first.
The same applies in a (good) relationship; if you’re dissatisfied with how you look or how you currently feel, it’s important to address that first. Even before you attempt to change him.
Do you want to spend more time with your friends? Go ahead and do that. Struggling with weight? Hit the gym and eat healthier. Feeling bored most of the time? Find a hobby and engage in enjoyable activities.
Ensure you have a fulfilling life and a healthy dose of self-confidence; it makes maintaining a joyful relationship so much easier. So, don’t blindly assume he’ll solve all your problems. A man alone can’t make you happy.
He can assist, but that’s about it. It’s equally your responsibility to ensure the relationship remains enjoyable.
05. Communicate
There’s one reason why some relationships can stand the test of time (and remain enjoyable), and that’s good communication.
…But good communication between men and women?
Well, that’s not as easy as it sounds.
This is because there’s a significant difference in how men and women use communication, take a look:
- Men use communication to exchange information.
- Women use communication to build a connection or strengthen an interpersonal bond. Plus, sometimes, it’s just nice to share what you’ve experienced.
It’s no wonder that women use three times as many words as men.
What communication means for a man?
As I mentioned a moment ago, communication for a man is a means of exchanging information.
It’s a highly factual form of communication, leading a man to believe that you’re providing him with a piece of information.
Consequently, he will instinctively attempt to find a solution to any problem presented.
When you share with him in-depth details about the argument you had with a friend earlier that day, you’re presenting him with an involuntary stream of facts, leaving him unsure about how to respond.
This might result in him offering brief responses, and sometimes none at all. Hence, understanding this distinction is incredibly significant.
If you fail to grasp this, it’s only a matter of time before things go awry (yet again).
Therefore, ensure your communication with your partner briefly and clearly; there’s no need to make it more complicated than necessary. Men simply don’t possess the same social adeptness as women 😉
06. Never Say These Things
We touched upon the importance of good communication in a healthy relationship in the previous tip.
This leads us to the next point – there are certain things you absolutely never want to say to a man. Saying any of these things can make things very difficult for you.
Each of these statements is something that no man is eagerly anticipating to hear, things like:
- “You’re not funny.”
- “My ex always used to…”
- “Is she prettier than me?”
- “Have you slept with her?”
- Using the words ‘never’ or ‘always’ in an argument.
These are just five of the things you never want to say to a man; there are a total of fifteen.
It’s crucial never to utter these things to a man, as it can prevent your relationship from falling apart.
Indeed, that’s how important it is.
What are these fifteen things? I’ll reveal them to you in this article.
07. Engage in Activities Apart
You don’t have to do everything together. You don’t always have to be joined at the hip.
In fact, it’s often not even a good idea to do everything together.
You might enjoy certain activities, and the same goes for him.
I mean, if he wants to play soccer on a Sunday morning, you don’t have to stand on the sidelines watching. Let that be his thing.
Likewise, if you want to go shopping, he doesn’t need to tag along.
Because you see:
Relationships can only be strong when you have two individuals who each have their own lives.
In other words, two individuals who:
- Don’t necessarily need each other.
- Can function perfectly fine independently.
- Choose to be together because it brings them happiness.
Only then do you have a strong relationship?
If you’re in a relationship where you’re dependent on each other – and can’t function without one another – then you’re together for the wrong reasons.
When you’re together 6 to 7 days a week, it becomes monotonous over time. You can’t really sustain a good relationship if you’re constantly attached at the hip.
It’s like watching the same movie twenty times in a row. Eventually, you know everything about each other, and there’s nothing left to talk about.
In essence, maintain your own lives alongside each other. Do your own things and expect the same from him. This way, the relationship remains fun and exciting.
08. Keep Arguments Small
When your partner does something you dislike, it’s very tempting to say:
“You did this recently… and you also did that recently… and now you’re doing this too…”
In this way, you’re essentially lumping all the negative things together, and if you bring up this pile of issues in every argument… you end up with ENORMOUS fights that can last for days.
You’ll notice that these fights leave a kind of small scratch on the relationship, gradually making it uglier and weaker.
Simply because the fights are always massive.
I understand that this is quite challenging and requires a lot of self-control, but when you’re angry with him, perhaps because he forgot your mother’s birthday, ONLY argue with him about forgetting your mother’s birthday.
So, don’t say…
“Yes, but… you’ve been forgetting everything lately anyway.”
Or:
“Yes, but… you also forgot my sister’s birthday six months ago.”
If you keep making the fights so big and do that every time, then each argument slowly becomes a little bigger, building up step by step.
And that’s a shame.
So, don’t bring up old issues.
Try to keep your arguments small and focus on the specific matter at hand. If you do that, you’ll notice that the relationship becomes much stronger (and more enjoyable) as a result. Read more tips here on how to make up after a fight.
09. Ensure You Laugh Together
So, you have a little problem or things aren’t going so well…
Is that a reason to be grumpy for days?
No, certainly not.
Don’t take it all so seriously. Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill (tip #8).
Everyone has their little issues.
So, when things aren’t going so smoothly – for whatever reason – it’s not the end of the world.
If you want to keep a relationship enjoyable in the long run, it’s good to support each other through such situations; he’ll surely try to cheer you up.
If you respond to his efforts with coldness and distance, he might also think:
“Oh well, if that’s the case, I was just trying to help, but you’re acting like an ice queen.”
Allow him to lift your spirits when he tries.
Even forcing a smile on your face if necessary, so he knows you appreciate his attempt.
You can also do one of the following:
- Share a glass of wine together.
- Visit fun friends.
- Watch a TV show that both of you find amusing.
Look, everyone faces (relationship) problems, but the difference lies in how you handle these problems.
When there’s an issue, you have two choices:
- You can choose to be in a gloomy mood.
- You can accept that it’s not pleasant and still try to make the best of it.
My advice? choose option 2.
10. Keep Your Relationship Exciting in the Bedroom
Research shows that the better your sex life is, the happier you tend to be in life.
That all sounds nice and well, but ensuring you have an amazing sex life is not as easy as it might seem.
Or, well… I said “Not as easy” for now;)
There are indeed a few things you can do today to give your sex life a boost, things like:
(a) Have sex 2-3 times a week
If your sex life isn’t what it used to be (read: it’s become boring), the frequency of having sex gradually decreases.
That makes sense, right? After all, who looks forward to (even more) dull sex? Exactly, no one.
Research indicates that having sex 2 to 3 times a week in a relationship is ideal. But of course, it shouldn’t be boring. How do you achieve that? Well, like this:
(b) Understand What Men Want in Bed
Knowledge is power. And understanding what men want in bed makes it much easier to keep your sex life vibrant. But how do you find out?
In this article, you’ll discover exactly what men want during sex. So, take a look at this first before you continue.
(c) Vary and Experiment in Bed
Because you’ve known each other for a long time, you know exactly what he enjoys, what he likes and dislikes.
However, this doesn’t mean you have to give him the same thing every time you have sex. Forgive me for the cliché expression, but: Change is as good as rest, and it’s also quite refreshing.
Every now and then, it’s perfectly fine to stick to your usual “routine.” But if you eat the same thing over and over again, you’ll eventually get tired of it.
This is where bedroom variation comes into play, and it’s impossible to keep things exciting when you’re always doing the same thing.
Alright. Applying the above points is a simple way to keep your relationship enjoyable, and it also reduces the likelihood of him cheating.
11. Spend Adequate One-on-One Time Together
I know this might sound a bit contradictory, especially since I mentioned in tip #7 that you should also do things separately, but keep reading.
There’s a significant difference between being in the same space and genuinely spending time together. One of the key reasons people in a relationship stop appreciating each other, losing the spark, is because they start living like sort of siblings.
Many couples spend a lot of time together, yet they actually spend very little quality time with each other.
(sitting together for hours watching TV isn’t really quality time spent together)
What I mean by ‘genuinely spending time together’?
By that, I mean spending time together where your focus is purely on each other. For instance, go out for dinner together.
Even if you’ve been together for, say, five years, it’s still important to have “dates” with each other. Did I say “even”?
I mean that it’s ESPECIALLY important when you’ve been together for so long to genuinely spend time with each other.
Because it would be such a shame if you end up being a couple that goes through the entire year just coexisting and then on vacation, you can’t stand each other…
…Simply because you realize then that you actually don’t really like each other. Oops.
So, make sure you (intensively) spend real time together and keep doing so.
12. Accept His (Small) Imperfections
We discussed in tip #3 that having overly high expectations of each other isn’t advisable. That’s why it’s crucial to accept each other’s (small) imperfections.
The thing is, you truly get to know each other in a relationship, while the dating phase is often a mix of bliss and happiness.
In a relationship, you’ll uncover more and more things that you don’t particularly like about him.
Well, I understand that.
But it’s important to overlook some of these things, because, in return, he’ll do the same. So, don’t try to completely change him, but rather accept his small imperfections.
Do yourself a favor and drop the idea of the perfect man. Otherwise, you’ll keep searching forever, and you’ll continue to do so as long as you live.
Alright, so if you want to keep your relationship enjoyable, make sure you accept these little things – the things that make him human.
13. Make Compromises
Scratch his back when he scratches yours, so to speak. A relationship is about give and take, which means sometimes you have to make sacrifices, and vice versa.
To prevent one person from feeling disadvantaged and to avoid conflicts, it’s important to make compromises.
There’s a handy trick for this.
There’s a handy trick for this.
For example, if you want to watch the latest chick flick together at the cinema, don’t say:
“Well, I would like it if you could join me this Wednesday to…”
Instead, say:
“If you come along this Wednesday to the cinema, then we’ll watch football together on Sunday. Deal?”
In short, make compromises with each other.
14. Don’t Try to Change Him
This one ties into the previous tip because what happens when both partners don’t compromise is that you (unconsciously) try to change them.
Is that bad?
Not if you do it right, but most women have no idea how to change a man without all hell breaking loose.
… And when that happens, a man will be turned off by this.
How to change his behavior without him knowing?
Let me answer this question with a question:
“Why do you want to change him anyway?”
Besides the fact that there are things you simply can’t change about him when you try to change him, you don’t actually accept him.
So first check with yourself why you want to change him.
(if you have a laundry list of things you want to change about him consider if he is the right man for you)
And if there is really something you want to change about him (not recommended) check out this article.
… But to keep your relationship as fun as possible, it is important that you try to change as little as possible about each other.
15. Be Considerate and Keep Doing Your Best (The Secret of the Perfect Relationship)
It’s kind of funny because a lot of research has been done into what makes a relationship good and sustainable.
And always – without exception – it comes down to the same thing:
The people who are really happy with their partner never mention the biggest things, they never mention:
“He took me on that amazing journey.” or “He surprised me in such a fantastic and romantic way.”
No.
The things that really matter are the little thoughtful things
The women who are really happy with their partner mention things like:
- “He puts out a cup of coffee for me every morning.”
- “When I’m tired he massages my shoulders, he’s nice to me, he gets me something to drink.”
It’s small gestures like this that people remember best.
And you know what the stupid thing is?
Often it’s things like this that people seem to forget after six months of being in a relationship.
In other words, to ensure that your relationship is (and remains) fun, it is important to keep doing these kinds of little things for each other.
16. Put Everything in Perspective
He may have forgotten your best friend’s birthday once. But this does not necessarily mean the end of your relationship.
What some women often do is that at such a moment they go and collect old cows from the ditch.
That way you know in one fell swoop what he has forgotten in the past year. This ability to see connections between things is typically feminine.
But when you have a disagreement with him, this ability does not work in your favor.
Because if all the things he ever forgot are haunting your head at once, you will become more emotional by the second.
If you’re not careful, this can cause an outburst. Something that is not fun for any relationship.
That’s why it’s important to put everything in perspective because besides all the things he forgot, there are probably a lot of things he did remember.
It’s tricky, but when such a situation comes up, count to ten and try to see the big picture. So don’t turn a mosquito into an elephant, but put everything in perspective.
Guaranteed that this will keep your relationship more fun.
17. Respect Him
How would you like it if he never (but really never) tells you that he loves you? Or how would you feel if you didn’t feel loved in a relationship?
Probably not that nice.
And this is exactly what it feels like for a man when he doesn’t feel you respect him.
This is so important to a man that you can only keep a relationship fun if he feels that you respect him.
And before you think:
“Aha, let him know I appreciate him, I’ll tell him tonight.”
Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. This is a big difference between men and women.
When he says he loves you, you will take a mental leap into the air. But it doesn’t work that way with men.
The point is that you show it through your actions, for men it still applies:
“Action speaks louder than words.”
Good. So act. But how do you show through your actions that you respect him?
I can already tell you that it is a lot easier than you might think, you just have to know how.
I affectionately call this:
The number one man’s secret
This one simple thing will make him crazy about you (again), making it very easy to keep the relationship fun.
This technique is a secret in the man’s brain that will make him obsessed with you.
Because this technique is so powerful, I won’t share it on the blog, but if you sign up below, I’ll send it directly to you – free and private.
