If your relationship doesn’t seem to be going very well. And now you’re wondering just how serious it is. And perhaps more importantly: what can you do to help your relationship out?
Well, that’s convenient then.
In this article, you will discover the most important signs that the relationship is not going well and how to solve it.
After this article, you will know which things are just part of a relationship, and when your relationship is really not right.
When is your relationship not good?
When your relationship is not going well, you can notice this in several ways. For example, your communication is a bit more difficult than before, and there is more irritability towards each other. You give each other just a little less than before. The admiration for each other has diminished. Often there is a continuous tension simmering through the room that you both probably notice, but don’t want to name.
01. You argue over the smallest things
Did he leave the toilet seat up? Didn’t you put the house keys back?
No matter how trivial the reason, you are constantly arguing. This may mean that you just need to arrange the practical matters a little better.
But it can also be a sign that you don’t have enough for each other.
02. Your relationships are personal
The problem gets worse if you deliberately hurt each other during an argument.
That is a big sign that your relationship is no longer good.
You no longer work together to solve the problem but make it a competition to hit each other as hard as possible.
03. You no longer respect each other
Once, you had the greatest admiration for each other. But that feeling has faded.
It’s normal that after a few months, you no longer see your partner through rose-colored glasses.
However, if you can’t think of much that you admire about them, there’s a problem.
04. You have little or bad sex
In a long-term relationship, it is normal to have sex less often than in the very beginning. But if the sex is bad or cuts out completely, that’s a serious problem.
The passion is missing. This is important to discuss with each other. Why don’t you feel like diving into bed together anymore?
05. You don’t express frustrations
When every difficult conversation feels like a personal attack, it might seem easier to just say nothing at all. Conflict is the last thing you want.
However, keeping all of this to yourself is detrimental to the relationship. Essentially, you’re saying, “I give up. Let’s see where the chips fall.”
06. You don’t enjoy being at home
Do you find yourself thinking:
“I actually don’t feel like going home because what if my partner is already there? Right now, I need some relaxation.”
“Another evening on the couch with him? Sigh.”
That signifies discomfort. Perhaps you’re more than willing to stay a bit longer out of the home.
07. You have different wishes
Do you love Chinese takeout and backpacking while he prefers five-star dinners and all-inclusive vacations? Does he want children while you don’t? Are you extremely sporty while he’d rather lounge in front of the TV?
If you are truly too different, that can lead to issues.
So, this is a sign that your relationship isn’t in a good place. At least, if you don’t overcome these differences. The differences themselves aren’t relationship killers.
08. You are not curious about each other
In the past, you used to ask each other questions about your day, childhood, previous relationships, family, dreams, and fears…
But now, you don’t really care anymore. You already know who he is.
You’re not as curious anymore, and you keep forgetting to ask how the day was or how the other person is doing.
09. You help each other reluctantly
In a healthy relationship, you help each other simply because you love each other. You want to support each other and find satisfaction in doing so.
You want to bring out the best in your partner.
But does he sigh every time you ask him for help? Do you prefer to stay on the couch rather than lend a hand? If so, it’s something you should discuss with him.
10. You don’t miss each other
How do you feel when you are apart for a few days or more? do you miss him? Or do you hardly notice that he is not there?
Giving each other space every now and then is healthy.
But if you don’t miss him or think about him, it’s a sign that the relationship isn’t right anymore.
11. You rarely text or call
At first, you used to text all day long, but now there’s mostly silence.
It’s normal for texting to decrease a bit after a few months compared to the beginning.
However, if communication completely fades away and you often forget to reply, then that’s problematic.
12. You never give each other your full attention
When you’re often together, it’s normal to check your phone now and then.
But do you use your phone to avoid a conversation? Or because the silences are awkward? Maybe even out of pure boredom?
Then you know that something is not right in your relationship.
13. You’re live past each other
Different work schedules, time-consuming hobbies, and children can certainly cut into your valuable time to together.
Of course, you can’t be constantly talking in such situations. But a small chat and affectionate greetings are still essential.
If even that is missing, then the connection is truly gone.
14. You fantasize about dating someone else
It is normal to find other handsome men, even in a relationship. After all, you’re not blind.
But do you regularly fantasize about someone else and see yourself in a relationship with that person? This is a typical signal that your relationship is not going well.
15. You don’t feel loved
Or even worse, he seems to find you downright annoying.
16. You yearn to be single again
You find the idea of being single again delightful. You miss the feeling of freedom and the opportunity to meet new people.
Perhaps you even imagine how enjoyable it would be to date others.
Of course, such thoughts can cross your mind once in a while. But if it’s a strong longing, you might want to explore where it’s coming from.
17. You are no longer attracted to the partner
Of course, there is not the same amount of passion in every relationship.
But if you see your partner more as a good friend and the attraction is gone, it is a sign of a relationship that is no longer working.
18. You can’t forgive him/her
Mistakes are made in every relationship. When do you know that your relationship is not right?
Well, if you have a very hard time forgiving his/her mistakes. This way you build up a mountain of frustration and hatred.
19. You don’t want to put any more effort into the relationship
At the beginning of the relationship, you move heaven and earth to see each other.
But now you notice that you only meet when it happens to fit. And acts of love like planning a birthday party or a romantic surprise? Those are long ago.
20. You experience the relationship as a prison
Honestly, you’ve wanted to end the relationship for a long time, but you feel stuck.
You may be the only person there for him. And he uses that victim role to keep you in the relationship.
“If you leave, I will hurt myself.”
