Who am I? It is a question that will arise from time to time throughout your life. In your adolescence, but also your adult life. If you have experienced something intense, or simply if you look curiously in the mirror. It’s not easy to find out who you are. I would like to give you some tips that can help you with this complex search.
Who am I? A difficult but important question
The question ‘Who am I?’ is all-encompassing. It is an important but challenging question to answer.
Why is it such a difficult question?
When you wonder who you are, you are examining your personality under a magnifying glass. And that can be very confronting. You are not only highlighting all your talents and the qualities you are proud of but digging a few layers deeper.
The less attractive aspects of your identity also come to light. If you truly want to understand yourself, you have to go to your core. To your deepest secrets and your most buried feelings, beliefs, and thoughts.
And then it becomes a question of whether you are the person you would like to be. What do you do if the answer is disappointing?
In short, although the quest for your true identity is undoubtedly interesting, it can also be confusing and even quite intense.
Why is it still important to know who you are?
Nevertheless, more and more people are consciously searching for their true identity and abilities. This does not happen for no reason. Because the better you know yourself, the more chances there are for your personal growth.
By asking yourself the ‘who am I?’ question, you get to know your entire personality, with all its qualities and limitations. In the end, this makes it possible to fully embrace yourself, including your negative sides.
Such a deeper sense of awareness makes you more self-assured. Insecurity is less necessary, and the opinions of others suddenly become less important.
Think of it this way: you have to get along with yourself for your entire life. Therefore, it is important that you feel good about yourself. That you accept yourself as you are, with all your beautiful and less beautiful qualities. And that can only happen when you truly know who you are.
Who am I in different roles?
There is not one answer to the question ‘Who am I?’. You are one person, but at the same time, you always have multiple roles in your life.
You are born as a child of your biological parents. The first years of your life are decisive for the personality you later develop. Both genetically and in terms of upbringing, your parents provide you with a tremendous amount of information. Even if your parents were absent early on.
Perhaps, due to the birth of siblings, you also became a brother or sister yourself. And in that role, you further developed your personality during your childhood.
Later in your life, you were assigned different roles again. That of a good friend and/or that of a partner. You became an employee, a colleague, or even a boss.
Maybe, through the birth of your children, you assumed the role of a parent. Or you have become a grandparent by now.
All the roles you have in your life are filled differently. If you ask your parents, “Who am I?” they will give a different answer than your partner.
All those different answers can be confusing. You get to understand yourself in a different way through them, but these external answers do not fully reveal the character hidden in your heart. You can only find that out by looking deep into your soul.
Questions that can help you get to know your true ‘self’
If you want to find out who you are, you can guide yourself to that deeper core of your personality. There are several questions you can ask yourself to become more aware of your deeper thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.
Asking the following questions will give you the first push in the right direction. Later in this article, I will give you more tips that can make you more aware of who you are.
01. What are you good at?
The first question you can ask yourself is: What are you good at? Often, being good at something is related to enjoying it. Because when you’re good at something, you usually derive happiness from it.
When you know what you’re good at and which activities energize you, you can consciously use that knowledge. Adjust your job and hobbies accordingly! Are you good at leadership? Then, an executive role may be less suitable for you. Look for a job where you can do what you excel at managing people.
Do you perform best in your sports activities when you’re alone? Then, consider pursuing individual sports like running or ice skating.
02. Where do you like to be?
Another fun exercise to get to know yourself better is to ask yourself where you feel happiest. Do you love the hustle and bustle of a busy city? Or do you see yourself by the side of a babbling brook in an ancient forest?
The characteristics of your chosen place reveal a lot about your identity. They also provide information about how you can best shape your life. If you mentally transport yourself to a quiet place, working in a busy open-plan office might not be a good idea for you.
03. What are you proud of?
Knowing what makes you proud and brings you happiness also reveals what you consider important.
For instance, let’s say you feel immensely proud after completing a course on identifying garden plants. What does that pride say about you? It could mean a variety of things, such as:
- Biology was never your strong suit. This course was a real challenge for you, but you persevered and completed it.
- Your father has always been passionate about plants, but you weren’t particularly interested before. Now that you’ve finished the course, you feel not only your pride but also your father’s.
- You’re proud that you’ve finally found your calling. This is where you belong, and you now realize what truly makes you happy. You decide to start living the life you want.
The pride you feel can influence your future choices and the things you may want to change in your life. It might even lead you to pursue a full career change to become a botanist!
04. What brings you joy?
What things truly make you happy? What makes you radiate with happiness? Is it seeing your own children or gazing at a beautiful starry sky?
Whatever your answers may be, it’s important to know them. The things you mention touch upon the essence of your existence. They also help you discover what makes you unhappy, leading you to consider making different choices.
When you know what brings you joy, you can use those things to make progress in your life. The more you surround yourself with them, the more your battery recharges. This is especially beneficial in the fast-paced world we live in.
05. Who inspires you?
Another important question: who inspires you? Is it a prominent politician? A writer, a presenter, or a singer? Or do you find inspiration closer to home? Your mother can be incredibly inspiring, of course.
When you know who your source of inspiration is, it’s interesting to find out what exactly moves you in that person’s actions and achievements. If you can identify those aspects, you’ll also get to know yourself a little better.
06. Who/what would you be..
Who or what would you be if you could be anything you wanted? I call this question the miracle question. It’s one of the exercises that bring you closer to yourself. Why? Because this question teaches you to discard limiting thoughts and boundaries.
This question is all about you. You can fantasize as grand as you want.
If the outcome is that you’d like to change your life, then ask yourself if you’re on the right track. The beauty of answering this question is that you immediately have some guidance on the direction you want to go in.
07. What are you afraid of?
If you want to get to know yourself well, it’s best to confront all your fears. Only when you do that can you create a deeper form of awareness. You’ll learn new things about yourself that could be very interesting, and your self-confidence will grow.
Is it fun to look at your fears? No. But you are peeling away all those protective layers around your soul. This takes a lot of courage. You have to be willing to be vulnerable. Dare to ask questions to yourself.
Other things you can do to answer the ‘Who am I?’ question
As I mentioned earlier, there are other things you can do to fully explore your identity. With the activities below, you’ll gain a clear and honest picture of yourself, your motivations, and the way you’ve been programmed in your early life.
1. Dive into history
Is ‘who am I?’ the question that haunts your mind daily? Then take a closer look at your family history. Create a family tree in which you closely examine, in addition to yourself, the generation of your parents and your grandparents.
What stories does your family carry? And what burdens have been passed onto your shoulders as a result? How are/were the relationships within the family?
By conducting such research into your family, you will understand the foundation of your own life. Perhaps you will even discover where certain patterns come from. Whether you like it or not, your family history is intricately linked to your own identity.
2. Meditate
Another option: meditate! Experience what happens to you when you do nothing for a while. Believe it or not, it’s the way to get closer to yourself.
3. Go Out!
The opposite works as well: get active. Take action and try things out. Sports, cooking classes, creative workshops… It doesn’t matter, as long as you try.
Only when you try new things will you quickly find out if they suit you. Ideal if you want to get to know yourself better!
